From Camping to Cedar Point

August 19.... I simply cannot believe that it is August 19.... Summer has come and nearly gone, and I have only seen a couple of my friends a couple of times.  This is so different from the past few summers!  Ya know, I didn't make a "Fun Things To Do" list this summer, so I definitely did not spend enough time just having fun.  Work, work, work.

Yet, overall, it has been a good summer.

God has done some really amazing things this summer.... I have really learned a lot, and for once in my life, summertime wasn't the drop off point of my relationship with God.  Typically, God and I would lose a bit of touch over the summer, then around this time I would reconcil it all and make lofty goals for the next school year.  But not this time.  This time, I can really feel God as an active part of my summer.... and I have loved every single moment of it!!

God truly is good, and He is opening up some doors for me, I think.

I simply pray that, like Esther in her time of need, I am available for whatever God calls me to.  I don't need to travel around the world, because I have a community, a neighborhood, a group of friends and aquaintences, right here.  I can show God's love to those people right here.  Now the question is simply "how?"  and "am I willing?".  I must admit that being willing is much easier said than done.

Will I let God stretch me this school year?

Inexpressable and Glorious Joy!

Matthew 18:3- "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."

Matthew 18:4- "Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

Mark 10:14-15- "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.  I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."

All that I see in his bright blue eyes is innocence, purity, and holiness.  As I held his bottle and he stared back up into my eyes, they captured me and God spoke to me in that moment.  There is no denying the beauty of God in the little ones.  Children are definitely made in the image of God, before they are stained by the darkness of sin and before they discover the evil in this world.  God in the flesh lie in my arms, sucking from a little green bottle.  God in the flesh.  In my arms.  How could I ask for anything more than that?  And those eyes.... reflecting the pure love of Christ, before the little boy even knows my imperfections and my faults.... those eyes shows unconditional love.  And I love him back.  It is a feeling not well expressed in written word... maybe I should not even be attempting to express it now.  Maybe I should leave it where it was, simply a feeling.... but I long to try to spread the joy.

Is this what Christ meant when he called us to be like little children in order to inherit the kingdom of God?  Like the little 4 month old baby that I held in my arms and he taught me about innocence, purity, and holiness, God yearns for us to reflect those same qualities in our eyes?  How to we obtain that innocence, purity, and holiness when we are tainted with so many imperfections, faults, and sins?  We know of the evil that surrounds us, stripping us of our innocence.  Can we keep our lives pure when there are so many wars waging against our souls?  How can we possibly become like little children in their holiness when we know of so many unholy things around us?

God, help me to become like the little children.  Free and shameless because of sweet innocence.  Help me to be pure of heart and mind.  Help me to be holy in all I do, as you are holy and call me to do likewise.

Thank you for all you are teaching me through you, in the flesh, lying in my arms staring up at me.  How blessed and honored I am to be able to hold such a gift.  Thank you for trusting me.

The End is Nigh....

I can't believe how it is all winding down already.  I can't believe how fast this year went....days blended together, weeks blended together.... it all seemed so much shorter yet so much longer, too.  Strange how that works sometimes.

Ya know, I really didn't experience any bordem this year.  Not necessarily because I didn't have free time-- I did-- but rather because I found new ways to spend my time.  I read a few amazing books this school year including Blink, Under the Overpass, Passion and Purity, Fresh Wind Fresh Fire, and Three.  And I am learning how to spend quality time soaking up God's Word.  I am not as consistant at it as I would like to be, but it is coming, I am learning.  God is working.

Soon I'll be home again.  Wednesday, then Thursday, then Friday, to be exact.  I wouldn't say that I'm ready for it.... but I'm not sure I'm not ready for it either.  I don't want to be away from everyone.... I miss them already and I'm not even gone yet.  Keeping in touch is often difficult over the summer months.  Work is calling my name, though I am not sure yet how I feel about it.  I'm nervous about the responsibility again.  On top of work, I am pulling together a mentorship program in my parent's church.  I'm nervous that I am going to be too drained, that I will be taking on too much.  But there is so much that I want to do for the Kingdom.  I have dreams for this summer, and I want to watch them play out.

God, who do you want to touch through me?
What can I do for you and your Kingdom?
How do I remain wholly attached to your roots so that I may spread your love even when I am weary?
Give me passion.
Give me strength.
Give me love.

Easter already???

I hate being so busy that I don't really have time to reflect on this Easter season.... I don't give it the reverence that it deserves.  Instead, I put too much weight on the food.

Why is it that in our culture, so much emphasis is always put on food?  Don't get me wrong.... I do enjoy my food.... but there is so much more to life than that.

I'm thankful to have last week of school done.  It was a rough week, but I survived.  Only 5-ish more weeks until the end of the year.  Believe it or not, I'm not too excited for it.  I'm not ready to be home for the summer....

Not too much has been going on.... just waiting for family to arrive so we can, you guessed it, eat.

Happy Easter, everyone!  (Whatever that may mean....)

Father, help me to reverent about your crucifixion and rejoicing about your resurrection.  Thank you thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Speechless

I've been really crabby lately.... and just all over the place.... but he has just been good to me.  I'm so thankful right now.

One of the few times Matt has been to the Big Lake-- and the first time in the winter.  We're out on the ice!  This is actually right after he slipped and fell, thus the snowy pant leg.  Haha, I almost went down a couple times myself.

4 generations of Buter's.  Aiden, Andrew, Dad, and Grandpa.  So wonderful.  God has really done something good.  We are so blessed.  And I am so blessed to have all of these amazing men in my life to love on me and support me.  I could never have asked for anyone better.  Thank you, Jesus.

I want to write more, but I'm not sure that any words could captivate all of my thoughts.

I'm so blessed.

And left speechless.